We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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