At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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