my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize