some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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