i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
