I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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