At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
we're so committed to being not committed
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
