When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
