Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
