i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
