you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
