She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
pray to the hookup gods
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
