oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
