Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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