God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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