just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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