no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
