I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
