Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
