i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
