You're so nebulous sometimes
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
