Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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