I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
