It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
