his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
