I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
