Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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