I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
