i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
