We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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