Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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