at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
