batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
