Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
