Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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