I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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