I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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