nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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