seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
