Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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