I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
