I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
