why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
