Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
