Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
