You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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