plz talk dirty to me
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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