....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
