is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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