He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Blood and glitter go together right?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
