omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
