if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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