and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
