I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
