i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
