OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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