So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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