im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
