Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
the raccoons are back...
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