Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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