Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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