i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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