I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
