He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize